Black Girl x Honor Your Pace!

“Your story is unique and so so different. It is not worthy of comparison.”


Hey Black Girl,

What if I told you that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be? As humans, we tend to compare ourselves to others, whether it’s intentional or not. I get it sis, it’s in our human nature. However, comparison is self-sabotage at it’s finest and will only lead to unhappiness. You will never be content focusing on everyone else’s life. Everything that’s meant for you is for you. Read that again and again until you believe it wholeheartedly.

Everyone is running their own marathon. We’re all in different phases of our lives. You can’t compare your chapter 16 to someone else’s chapter 50. God created each and every one of us with our own unique talents and gifts. We’re each moving at our own pace, on our own timelines and that, my friend, is the beauty of life. So what can you do instead of comparing your life to others?

Do a social media detox

Recent studies have shown that the average American adult spends nearly 2 - 4 hours on social media per day. Girlllll that’s crazy!! Do you realize if you were to spend two hours a day on social media for an entire year, you would have wasted almost 2 months of your year? Imagine what could be accomplished with all of that time! There are also several studies and tests that have correlated high social media usage with anxiety, depression, and loneliness. Now factor in our everyday issues, such as unemployment, insecurities, lack of funds, etc. This is why it is imperative to use social media in moderation. My boyfriend and I take periodic breaks from social media when we begin to feel overwhelmed by everything happening in the world. Usually for a week or 2 at a time to give ourselves a chance to refocus. You have to keep in mind that social media is used as a highlight reel for people to share their happiest moments. Therefore, you can’t compare someone’s best moments to your reality. People are only showing you what they want you to see. What social media doesn’t show you is how everyone experiences their own struggles just like you.

Embrace your unique journey

Be content with where you are. Everyone runs at their own pace. The greatest advice someone ever gave me was to live in the moment. There is truly beauty in the struggle. At some point you have to accept life for what it is. Do NOT get this confused with settling. For example, I have a friend who knew he wanted to become a SAP consultant and he knew he wanted to work for his dream company. I mean he wrote affirmations literally everyday and meditated on his words. But he would apply for jobs and micromanage the blessings that God had in store for him. Sending follow up emails every 3 days, constantly checking his email and call log. The moment he let go and let God work, everything worked out. He stopped comparing himself, worked on becoming a better person, and in the end it all worked out in his favor. Stay the course, I promise it all works out in it’s own time. Stop comparing your blessings to others. In due time!

Life will be much easier when you start to focus on your own lane. Life isn’t some race or competition to see who can achieve something first, it’s actually a marathon. Everyone is going at their own pace. Don’t be so hard on yourself. As always, the marathon continues…RIH Nipsey Hussle!

With love,


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