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Black Girl x Denied...Now What?

“As I look back on my life, I realize that every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being redirected to something better.”

Steve Maraboli


Hey Black Girl,


Does it ever seem like you’re in a never ending cycle of denials? It’s almost as if you can’t catch a break. Life just won’t get it’s foot off your neck. After graduating from college, I applied to almost 50 jobs a day, receiving denial after denial. That’s when those negative thoughts began to creep in; “Why me?”, “Why does everyone tell me no?”, “Am I not qualified enough?”. I was living with my parents, working at Chili’s, crying myself to sleep every night and at the time, I had no means of transportation meaning, I had to Uber to work everyday!! This was the lowest point of my young life. I did not sign up for this! 4 years of college and this is how I’m treated?!?! No one prepared me for this.

In spite of my circumstances, I knew that the job for me was coming, I just didn’t know when. Rejection is inevitable in life but what matters is how you choose to handle it. Those times taught me a few valuable lessons:


Avoid the victim mentality - Let go of the self-limiting belief that life is out to get you and that nothing ever goes right. Often times when we are denied from that thing we REALLY wanted, we begin to throw self pity parties and that’s the absolute worst thing you can do. I know, I know, it seems almost impossible not to be upset that things didn’t work out as you planned. But you HAVE to trust that things will always work out the way that they are meant to. Don’t let one rejection make you forget about all the other opportunities out there.


Don’t put too much pressure on yourself - You tell yourself that you are going to have a job by the 15th, then the day comes and you’re still unemployed and now you’re in a crippling state of depression. Sis....take a deep breath and relax. This is something I deeply struggle(d) with and it takes time to overcome this. Let go of these unrealistic time tables and let things happen on their own time. Majority of the time, IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU when faced with rejection! So don’t take it personal.


Take a step back and reevaluate yourself - “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.” - Albert Einstein

Sometimes you have to come up with new strategies for doing things. For example, if the traditional way of applying for jobs isn’t working, switch it up. The greatest advice someone gave me in regards to applying for jobs was to reach out to recruiters and ask for the job. I know it’s bold but it sets you apart. Find what works for you.


Find the good in everything - I know that you really want “THAT job” and you’d be the “perfect fit.” But remember what’s for you is for you. So if you don’t receive a job offer from said company, find joy in knowing that something better is coming along. I had a friend that really wanted this job at this Fortune 500 company. I mean everything was set up for him to receive a job offer. He knew hiring managers in the company who helped him during the interview process. He even received a verbal offer. However, he never received an official offer. Months went by and he finally heard from one of the hiring managers that the department had experienced a massive layoff. Everybody got fired including her. Now imagine if he had received an official offer only to be eventually laid off? See, sometimes we think we’re missing out but we’re not. God is only re-directing us to something better. He eventually received an offer from another Fortune 500 company which set him up for major success in his career.


Be patient - Things will happen when they’re supposed to. Don’t rush the process! Whenever the thing you’re looking for manifests, it will be better than you can ever imagine.


When I finally let go and let God, He blessed me with a great job, especially for someone who was straight out of college. I had great benefits and decent pay. Though it had it’s cons, it definitely prepared me for my future endeavors. Majority of the time, rejection is just redirection to something better. Don’t beat yourself up when faced with rejection. Trust and believe that something better is coming along for you! Keep your head held high Queen!


With love,

Dom

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